It’s no secret that our culture is skinny-obsessed.
All too often we’re presented with the idea that if we lose weight everything in life will get better and easier.
And when you’re stressed out, overwhelmed, and unhappy in your body, you can’t help but cling to this idea as if it were a lifeboat in stormy waters.
I know I did.
I grew up in New York City, in a neighborhood where models and actors popped straight off the billboards and walked amongst the rest of us mere mortals.
At 5 foot 3 (ok, not even. To be precise I measure 5’2.75, tops, but I digress…) and curvy when curves weren’t cool, I ogled at those emaciated amazons, obsessively comparing my very different body to theirs.
Combine this excessive exposure to unachievable fashion ideals with puberty and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster, or in my case, yo-yo dieting.
I tried eating salads.
I made smoothies.
I drank only coffee until I was as jittery as a heroin junkie looking for his next fix and then I hungrily devoured everything in the refrigerator.
I felt guilty.
Did everything get better and easier? No. Instead I became a total stress-case.
I desperately tried every magazine’s meal plan.
I tried jogging.
I tried gym memberships.
It was exhausting.
I clung to my stomach’s grumbles as if they were proof of my success.
I told myself that I had to lose weight to be “healthier”, but no matter what I did, I still didn’t feel good enough.
Sometimes I felt close to good enough, but it never lasted long.
After a few weeks or months I’d eventually give up and eat whatever I wanted to eat.
I’d defiantly devour pints of ice-cream and not 1, not 2, but 3 (gasp!) slices of pizza, with cheese.
And even then, I still didn’t feel good enough.
Inevitably I’d try another diet, and then another one, and another one, until I’d “fall off the wagon” and the cycle would start again.
The problem wasn’t how much I weighed, the problem was the way I felt.
Whether I managed to lose weight or packed on a few extra pounds, it didn’t make a difference.
No matter what I did I didn’t feel good in my own skin.
(Translation: I didn’t feel lovable. Translation: Deep down inside I was haunted by a nagging suspicion that if I didn’t look at least half as pretty -*ehem* tall and skinny- as those NYC amazons I would end up miserable and alone, crying into my ice-cream every night. And surely I’d accomplish nothing in life, either.)
When I was feeling all those negative feelings I saw the world about as clearly as someone with 20/40 vision and no glasses.
When I was on a diet, when I was off a diet, when I weighed more, when I weighed less, I still felt bad in my body.
Finally I came to the point where I realized that I couldn’t go through life this way.
And then something inside me started to shift.
It didn’t happen overnight.
I didn’t suddenly wake up and love everything about my body and life. But my focus started to shift so I could get un-stuck.
It began with tolerance, which morphed into acceptance, which grew into liking, then turned into real appreciation and, eventually, unconditional Love.
I started studying real nutrition (not magazine nutrition).
I practiced yoga.
I learned how to find the clothes that fit the body I was in.
Most importantly, I started to have fun (boy did that feel good!)
And there’s the key my friends.
Enjoying yourself is the only way to stay healthy and feel good in your body.
You might imagine that once you finally lose weight and shed those last 5 (10? 50?) pounds, then and only then will you be able to love the way you look and feel confident.
You might think that you have to eat only salads or go to the gym for an hour or more every day before you can feel attractive enough to go out, party ’til dawn.
You might think that you have to lose weight before you can make life happen on your terms.
But trust me when I tell you, none of those things will get you there.
You have to start loving your body first, and I’m not talking about love the feeling.
That will build up over time.
What I’m talking about here is Love the verb. Capital-L Love.
You have to experiment, and -no diet program will ever tell you this- you have to indulge.
You have to find out what makes you feel strong, feel cozy & comfortable, feel vibrant, feel fierce, feel…insert good-feeling adjective.
You have to find the foods and activities that actually nourish you.
You have to learn about your personal constitution and figure out the things that keep you balanced in your unique body.
You have to stop stressing out so much about how you compare and start loving what’s already there.
It took me a long time to crawl out of the dizzying spin of yo-yo dieting and self-loathing.
I heard whispers that the secret to loving my body, to feeling worthy, to feel healthy, to spending my energy on more interesting things than calorie counts, was in loving myself first.
That sounded well and good, but nobody showed me how exactly I was supposed to do that.
So I tried thing after thing after thing, and after years of experimentation I finally hit on the few things that actually worked and made me feel good in my body and life.
You shouldn’t have to wait so long.
Does any of this resonate with you?
If you are stuck in your own personal nightmare of body shame, if you can’t seem to crack the weight loss code no matter what you try, if you want to learn how to intentionally craft your lifestyle to create a life you genuinely Love, then I want to help you.
I want to show you how to fast-forward through the confusion, through impersonal diet and exercise advice, through the stress that shrouds your life when you feel like you can’t get a grip no matter how hard you try.
I want to help you break free of the shame, guilt, and all of those pesky “shoulds”.
I want to show you how to squeeze every last delicious drop of life’s nectar onto your tongue and savor its sweet sweet taste.
If you are nodding your head, or even if your curiosity is sparked just a tiny tiny bit, then I’ve got great news for you.
My new program, the 5-Phase Shift, is opening for enrollment, and it could be just the fairy-dust you’ve been looking for.
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There are only a 3 spots open at a time, so if the 5-Phase Shift sounds like something you might like to do, email me right now to schedule your *free* 15 minute consultation.
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Awesome. This is going to be great.
I can’t wait to hear from you!
Until next time,
Love, hugs, and cider doughnuts (mmmmmm…doughnuts….),
PS. Do you know someone who might like to try the 5-Phase Shift? Share this post with them, you might just change their life!