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We all know someone who always goes above and beyond.

One day she says she’s going to lose weight, and you think she’s going to waste her money on a gym membership.

Then the next time you run into her at the coffee shop, though, you almost mistake her for Serena Williams because she’s so buff.

As you sip your decaf hemp-milk macchiatos she tells you that she wants to start traveling more.

You nod in agreement as you dream about the exotic smells and sights of far-off lands.

Then every time you check in on social media you see pictures of her on road-trips, on top of mountains, and at impromptu weekend festivals in Hawaii.

Eventually she lands the dream job that hundreds of people tried to get, only to quit so she can follow her passion and start up her own line of couture sock puppets -and she somehow manages to make a killing doing it.

 

Kinda makes you nuttier than a pint of almond butter, doesn’t it?

Here you are, trying to do everything right, but keep landing one hop-scotch square behind where you want to be.

 

Life could definitely be sweeter.

Wouldn’t you just love to inject yourself with a magic elixir of goodness that would make everything in your life more vibrant?

No, I’m not selling drugs here!

But I am telling you that you can be successful, make great things happen, and take a much bigger bite out of Life’s birthday cake.

You just need the right framework.

 

Here’s the #1 thing you need to do before you can be successful at anything:

Figure out what you really want.

Hold up!

It’s not as obvious as you think.

All too often we think that we need a new something, (job/house/husband/fill-in-the-blank,) or more something, (money/time/chocolate/you-name-it,) to be happy.

And that’s fine.

Maybe those things really would make you happier.

But most of us don’t take the time to pinpoint WHY we want what we want.

 

The key to getting where you want to be in life is to find the desires behind your desires.

(Good stuff right? Go ahead and tweet this!)

Or, as I like to call them, the underlying desires behind your surface desires.


Every time you notice that you want something, have a one-gal talk with yourself to figure out why you want it.

Here’s an example:

After meeting your friend for coffee you feel inspired and decide that you want to lose weight too.

But before you start counting calories, ask yourself: “Why do I want to lose weight?”
Answer: “To look better. (Duh!)”

Ok. Next question.

“Why do I want to look better?”
Answer: “So people like me more.”
Q: “Why do I want people to like me more?”
A: “So I feel better about myself.”

Ah-ha! Now we’re on to something.

Let’s keep going, shall we?

Q: “How, exactly, would losing weight make me feel better about myself?”
A: “I’d feel proud and confident.”
Q: “And what would feeling proud and confident to for me?”
A: “I’d be better around other people.”
Q: “So you really want to work on your people skills?”
A: “I guess, but I also really just want to lose weight.”
Q: “What else do you think you’d get if you lost weight?”
A: “I’d feel more energized, and I’d feel better inside my body.”

What did we learn here?

What you really want (in this hypothetical situation,) is to a) feel more confident, b) feel more energized, and c) feel better inside your body.

Now dig deeper.

Q: “Will joining a weight-loss program help me feel what I want to feel?”
A: “Of course!”
Q: “Really? Long enough to lose the weight and keep it off? Remember what happened the last time I tried to lose weight? (Not to mention the pie incident at Aunt Mary’s house last winter!)”
A: “Ok, fine. I lost control and ended up feeling really bad about myself. I guess I those things don’t work.”
Q: “Then what am I supposed to do instead?”
A: “Find activities that I actually enjoy that will help me feel more confident, more energized, and better inside my body.”

Great! Now you know where to start.

 

Instead of reaching for your surface desires, focus on satisfying your underlying desires.

This is a great trick to use with any goal or desire you have in life, whether it be in health, business, love, or flying a rocket ship (warning: that last one might take some extra work).

You’re sure to feel better when you focus on getting your underlying desires, (what you really want,) than you would if you just stared off into the night’s sky like a teenager, hoping for your surface desires will show up one day.

 

Added bonus: When you focus on satisfying your underlying desires, it’s not unusual for you to end up with your surface desires too!

It’s like a package deal, you just have to get past the bright and distracting wrapping paper.

 

Now it’s time to take action.

Leave a comment in the comments section telling me one of your biggest surface desires, the underlying desires that go with it, and one thing you can do today to satisfy your underlying desires.

 

I personally read each and every comment on my posts and can’t wait to see what you have to say!

Remember that things always change, but you can’t influence the outcome unless you take action.

What you do is up to you.

 

Love, hugs, and decaf hemp-milk macchiatos,

xo Katerina

 

 

 

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